Successful people always tell me to follow my passion and it will lead me to happiness. I probably should’ve listened more closely. I gave up my growing photography business for a steady income and health insurance – back in 2011 we didn’t have Obamacare quite in place yet, although our state did offer excellent benefits. I regret putting down my camera, and yet enjoy the balance of my mundane life with my creative flare. Photography will always be my passion no matter where or what I’m doing. I still haven’t given up my dream of shooting for Nat Geo.
My creativity has changed over the years. I no longer am interested in wedding photography and engagement photos as the market is absolutely saturated. I have shifted my priorities to: children, family photos, landscape, travels, and nature.
With that said, I’m happy to announce that I’m ready to pick my camera up again and start making memories for everyone. And you should be too. There are reasons why we don’t follow them, and I’m not the one to judge by any means. Following your passion involves hard work, financial stability, and meeting your overhead expenses. It’s not easy to just drop everything and start to sell your crafts, art, or other passions overnight. It’s almost impossible to do while you’re working a full-time job. The only way to really do it is to put 100% of your time and effort into what it is that you love. I’m a creature of comfort and will often leave what I love behind just so that I get that steady income rolling in. I don’t HATE my job, but I’m not passionate about it. I’m lucky to have good coworkers, and a boss that supports me. I’m “good” at my job, but I’m not great at it either. I have dyslexia and dyscalculia (sorry for any spelling, or grammatical errors) so focusing actually makes me worse at my job as I’m bound to make more mistakes. Because I’m a perfectionist, I get really down on myself for the simplest mistake which could mean forgetting a decimal point. It does matter in my line of work since I work in finance, which btw…I have no idea how I have stayed in it for a total of 11 years.
Yesterday I drove around the island contemplating what I wanted for the rest of 2019. Tomorrow is my birthday, and lately I’ve been asking myself if I’ve really been happy in my career and is it time to start something new. It’s not an easy choice, and I haven’t made up my mind 100%. To me, a feeler and not logical, it seems that I am losing a piece of myself the longer that I wait to tackle something more creative.
There are so many twists and turns in life. I’m lucky to be married with no children, and we don’t plan on ever having kids. That frees up so many options for me. The only question is what’s holding me back, and how do I move forward. Hopefully I can figure it out before my next birthday.